Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
MIDGETS
????
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
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