I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
