At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
