i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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