It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
