i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
