She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
