How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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