How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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