My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
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sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
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I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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