I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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