This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
