So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
