I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
