i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
cat food counts as protein by the way
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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