maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
