I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
