But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
