How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
