Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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