we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
