The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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