She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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