Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
