I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
