how can u be prego again
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
