We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
