Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
