I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize