I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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