U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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