The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
it's like heaven, but drunker
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
