"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
