Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
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It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize