I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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