it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Say something about gay babies.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
