the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
MIDGETS
????
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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