It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
