Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
