Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
how drunk are you?
Several
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
