Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize