11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
