this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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