Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
