So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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