I cockslap morals
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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