come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Im part way to drunk.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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