OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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