She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize