I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
