Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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