How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
