in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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