do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
