Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
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