I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
