arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
