It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
