I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize