the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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