between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
